A Middle-Aged Woman’s Manual on Dating a Young Man

A Middle-Aged Woman’s Manual on Dating a Young Man

In my upcoming novel, a middle-aged woman dates a thirty-something man.

I say, sometimes it must be hard to be the friend of a novelist. Because all your writer friend ever talks about is that crisis she’s having with the second cousin of her female lead – you know, the one who was supposed to leave her husband, except she can’t find a reason for her to walk out of her marriage, which is why your friend keeps talking about her book all evening long. Or then she’s having a writer’s block, and all she does is stare at her plate bleakly, eating little and saying even less.

I must confess. At times my girlfriends have suffered from the same syndrome with me. (Hi, girls! Promised –  no book talk next time we meet!)

Except that our roles were reversed a year ago, when I was writing my upcoming novel, The Thousand Tiny Miracles of Living Twice. A mixture of chick lit and fantasy – and the first of a feel-good fantasy series – the book narrates the story of a frumpy, middle-aged housewife from Finland who changes bodies with a drop-dead gorgeous Hollywood celebrity.

But that’s not all. Because as soon as she’s inside that perfect supermodel body of 60-90-60, she falls in love with a Justin Timberlake lookalike. He (obviously!) is not a day older than thirty-three.

To cut a long story short, he falls in love with her. Thinking that he’s dating the woman of his dreams. Aged twenty-five.

Of course, the middle-aged woman doesn’t have the courage to tell him the truth.

Now, how’s that for a relationship crisis?

Yet the peculiar thing is that as soon as I told my girlfriends about the plot, they became fiercely passionate about my housewife’s fate. Forget about idle chatter about movies and weekend plans. Oh no. Now we were talking about middle-aged women and their thirty-something lovers, and if such a relationship could really last. Or even happen. It was as if The Thousand Tiny Miracles of Living Twice wasn’t just a chick lit novel. No, this was something personal. This was a fifty-something woman with cellulite and varicose veins. Snatching a thirty-something hunk.

This was… oh my God… political.

Yes, that’s it. Talking with my girlfriends I sometimes felt that I’d got a promotion. I was no longer a mere novelist penning down their next beach read. No, I was nothing more and nothing less than the Instagram age’s Karl Marx and Joseph Engels, breathing life into a new political manifesto. Everywoman’s manifesto.

A manifesto about middle-aged woman and thirty-something men.

And the men look just like Justin Timberlake.

These conversations raged on for months, and the point of them was as follows: if it is possible for middle-aged women to date young men, what are the rules?

Come to think of it, how do middle-aged men do it?

The talks were so rich and passionate that soon I had nothing less than a middle-aged woman’s manual on dating younger men in my head.

Here’s how the manual’s rules went.

RULE #1: CAR

‘Honestly, Katarina,’ a mother friend said to me. ‘Listen to me. All you need is a fancy car. Because, let’s face it, it’s a statistical fact that when men have a midlife crisis, they get rid of their first wives and buy a Porsche. That’s how they get that gorgeous twenty-something girlfriend.’

I looked at her. Her husband, a lawyer, drove a shiny Audi SUV so big that whenever she borrowed her husband’s car to do the school run the access road to the school was blocked for a good twenty minutes.

Then I thought about her car. Or mine. They were both old hand-me-downs with license plates dating back to the previous millennium. Not to mention the layer of handkerchiefs, candy wrappers and parking tickets that covered the seats. Or the stains of dog vomit, which simply didn’t go away.

(‘Patience, signora, patience,’ the dog breeder had told me when I called to tell him that the puppy we bought from him regularly emptied his stomach on the back seat of my car. ‘He’ll stop… One day.’)

So, yes, maybe she had a point. Because would Justin Timberlake ever sit in a car covered in parking tickets?

With a whining puppy vomiting on the back seat?

RULE #2: POWER

But not all of my girlfriends were satisfied with how my manual had started.

‘Power,’ said another friend. She was a university researcher, so she had to be in the know. ‘It’s a question of power. Study men in politics. Look what happens to them when they gain power. Look at Trump. Or Hollande. Or Bill Clinton. Or even JFK. What unites all these men, if not the fact that they’ve had affairs with young women?’

And then of course, she said, smiling gloomily, there was the Italian bunga-bunga contribution to this rule, with Berlusconi outshining everyone with his wild parties and harem of showgirls.

‘Believe me,’ she insisted. ‘It’s power. That’s all there is to it.’

But others didn’t buy this.

‘Yeah right,’ one of my friends said. ‘And could you imagine women doing anything similar? Like, Angela Merkel boasting in a secret video clip that she regularly grabs the private parts of her male assistants? And later on dismissing the whole thing as aerobics lesson locker-room talk?’

RULE #3: LOOKS

My manual took a quantum leap forward when a fashionista friend of mine heard about the plot of The Thousand Tiny Miracles of Living Twice. An owner of a boutique in the trendy parts of Florence, she’s a woman with a certain kind of presence. Not to mention that she’s dating a man eight years her junior.

‘Oh, honey,’ she sighed. ‘Come on. Don’t be so naïve. You really think a frumpy housewife could date a Justin Timberlake lookalike?’

Yes, but. Don’t men do it?

‘And Madonna did it,’ she replied. ‘And Demi Moore. But you know what Madonna and Demi possess, apart from money and fame?’

I looked elsewhere. I didn’t care to answer.

‘Madonna and Demi both have bodies every twenty-something would die to have,’ she explained to me patiently. ‘And it takes an entire war of attrition to get a body like that. You must suffer. You must sweat. You must starve.’

So, that’s it, then? The third rule of my manual actually works?

Which means that middle-aged women can date young men. But only if they’re willing to torture and starve their bodies like nothing since the Spanish Inquisition.

Ah… It was slowly dawning on me that compiling this manual was not going to be easy.

RULE #4: JUSTICE

At some point, things got serious.

‘Don’t you dare let that Justin Timberlake hunk dump the frumpy housewife,’ my mum friend warned me once the first manuscript version was finished.

‘This is a question of rights,’ she added, looking at me almost accusingly. ‘Human rights.’

Ouch. Something told me that if I made the wrong plot move, half of my girlfriends were not going to talk to me any longer.

Thus, I had no other option but to add a new rule into my embryonic manual.

RULE #5: MONEY

After Madonna and Demi Moore, there was no turning back. The conversation turned pragmatic and even rather cynical.

‘Money talks,’ the boutique owner insisted. ‘If you’ve got money, you can have all the Justin Timberlakes in this world. Even if you look like a walking, Botox-ed zombie. With a serious cellulite problem.’

Someone remembered Leona Helmsley, the New York based hotel billionaire nicknamed the Queen of Mean. Not only had she been notoriously unkind to everyone around her, but what’s more, for sure she hadn’t looked like Madonna or Demi Moore.

No, she had actually looked–

Well, nasty.

Did this mean that the only rule that really mattered in my manual was the last one? Money?

But that question simply led to another one. Namely, did Leona Helmsley date young men?

A friend of mine, an American woman, looked at me. She smiled apologetically.

‘The thing is,’ she said. ‘Leona Helmsley was into… lapdogs.’

‘When she died, her Maltese became the richest dog in the world.’

I didn’t know what to say.

‘And the most hated, too,’ she continued. ‘Trouble was the dog’s name.’

RULE #6: DOGS

It was the Queen of Mean who opened my eyes.

When I came back home from that girls’ evening at the cinema, I looked at my Bergamasco shepherd dog with new, fresh eyes. Because, let’s face it, that dog has never asked for much. All he wants is a little bit of kibbles and affection.

What’s more, after a handful of dog obedience lessons, he sits down when he must sit down, and he stops barking when he must stop barking.

Plus, maintaining him doesn’t cost much.

And… He is four years old.

Which converted to human years means that he is exactly the same age as my Justin Timberlake lookalike in The Thousand Tiny Miracles of Living Twice.

So, listen to this.

I’m middle-aged. I’m no Demi Moore.

I’m not a New York based hotel billionaire. I drive a car that is a far cry from your average shiny Porsche.

But still, there is a thirty-something male who follows my each and every step.

Who would give his dear life for me.

Now who said that women can’t have it all?

 

 

Comments

If you’re upset about your weight and want to lose a little more, get this…

An overweight mother with pre-diabetes has just SHOCKED the medical
community by losing an unheard of 22lbs pounds in just 13 days…

....Without starving herself, she lost a total of 37lbs in the first month!
[url=http://webbyt.co/weightloss]-> CLICK HERE to see her Transformation Pics![/url]

...Even without exercising, she went on to burn off 84lbs (almost a pound a day)
and eliminated any sign of diabetes or any other life-ending diseases.

And the amazing thing is…

All she did was this D.I.Y. “carb-pairing” trick that reconditions your 3 female
weight-loss hormones to drastically accelerate fat-burning while still eating the
foods you love.

Check it out for yourself…

[url=http://webbyt.co/weightloss]“Carb-Pairing” Melts Away 37 Pounds in Just 20 Days (WOMEN ONLY)[/url]

Enjoy!

Доброго времени суток господа[url=https://mfc-ritual.by/]![/url]
Наша контора занимается свыше 10 лет ритуальными услугами в городе Минске.Вот что мы можем предложить вам:
1)[url=https://mfc-ritual.by/]ритуальные услуги[/url] –Мы более десяти лет предоставляем услуги ритуального характера в Минске и Минской области, помогаем достойно проводить усопшего в последний путь.
2)[url=https://mfc-ritual.by/]ритуальные услуги минск[/url]-Мы оказываем ритуальные услуги с набором всего необходимого товара и сервиса, которые предлагаем, опираясь на возможные финансовые затраты клиента.
3)[url=https://mfc-ritual.by/]организация похорон[/url]-Сотрудники нашего ритуального агентства – это специалисты высокого класса с большим опытом работы.
4)[url=https://mfc-ritual.by/]организация похорон минск[/url]-Наш многофункциональный похоронно-ритуальный центр обеспечит качественные похороны с полным набором требуемых ритуальных услуг.
https://gol.sefaresh.net/user/Pavlosklf/
http://www.alcohol-injection.com/forum/member.php?u=313483
http://bbs.long-d.cn/users/14696/
http://cryptocoinfans.com/index.php?action=profile;u=604
https://towindustryclassifieds.com/author/helenapnz/

Я извиняюсь, но, по-моему, Вы допускаете ошибку. Предлагаю это обсудить. Пишите мне в PM.

---
Давно меня тут не было. indian league fifa 15 скачать бесплатно, скачать fifaconfig для fifa 15 а также [url=http://15fifa.ru/skachat-fifa-15/12-skachat-demo-versiyu-fifa-15-besplat...скачать фифа 15 демо[/url] пак стадионов для fifa 15 скачать

Наша фирменная сервисная служба перевозки была основана в целях удобства потребителей. У нашей знаменитой корпорации ОДО Новичков Клинцы существует свой автомобильный парк и штат рассыльных. Наша специализированная международная компания готова сделать доставку выпускаемой продукции вам в подходящее время. Для всего этого просто-напросто сделаете заказ эту услугу. При таких обстоятельствах ваш продукт будет доставлен очень быстро и точно. Можно без проблем рассчитывать на отличное качество печати, персональное решение и своевременное сопровождение.
[url=https://paketos.ru/catalog/pakety-iz-poliprolilena-s-ploskim-dnom/]пакет бумажный с плоским дном[/url]

Долгие 8 лет знаменитой корпорацииИП МУРАТ Ульяновск направляет предприятиям в многообразных отраслях промышленного производства находить идеальные решения для пакетирования своей рекламной продукции. Международная
компания ценит тех. нововведения, уклон на партнера и стремление к беспрерывному усовершенствованию. Немалый набор изделий ( пакеты с прямоугольным дном ), могут реализовать пожелания самых требовательных клиентов. Транспортировка товара происходит в любой город Российской Федерации.

Привет друзья[url=http://vika-service.by/]![/url]
Наша компания занимается свыше 10 лет ремонтом и обслуживанием оргтехники в городе Минске.Основные направления и виды нашей деятельности:

1)[url=http://vika-service.by/]Заправка и восстановление картриджей[/url]

2)[url=http://vika-service.by/]Ремонт и сервис оргтехники[/url]

3)[url=http://vika-service.by/]Ремонт и настройка компьютеров и ноутбуков[/url]

4)[url=http://vika-service.by/]SEO продвижение сайтов[/url]

5)[url=http://vika-service.by/]Разработка сайтов[/url]
Всегда рады помочь Вам!С уважением, ТЕХНОСЕРВИС

http://jundokan.kherson.ua/user/Servicewtu/
http://skasoft.ru/index/8-13742
http://rzl-duga.ru/user/Servicebgd/
http://vstavlyaet.ru/index/8-13258
http://pkfso.ru/user/Servicehtk/

Здравствуйте!
Мы удовлетворим все потребности вашей компании в контроле качества, аудитах поставщиков, внутренних аудитах,
построении и поддержке систем управления качеством на основе ISO 9001, 22000,16949, 17025,15189 и 17024.
У нас работают профессионалы в управлении качеством с солидным международным опытом, однако стоимость
наших услуг начинается всего лишь от 40 000 рублей! Полный перечень наших сервисов и преимуществ
вы найдете на сайте https://qmconsult.ru
Или напишите нам: customer@qmconsult.ru.
С уважением, "QM consult".

generic drugs for sale generic viagra generic viagra <a target="_blank" href="http://peqwire.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=viagrnetwork.com/?... ">viagra pills </a> viagra buy generic viagra
generic viagra sales viagra online [url=http://jsplugins.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=viagrnetwork.com... online generic[/url] viagra online buy viagra
buy generic viagra online generic viagra sales <a target="_blank" href="http://capecodrealproperty.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=viagrn... ">buy viagra online </a> viagra online sale generic viagra online pills
sale generic viagra online pills viagra pills [url=http://latestgrantsrulesdoctors.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=v... online generic[/url] viagra generic online pharmacy buy generic viagra online

Want to know why more and more men from all over the country buy Cialis from us? Everything is simple! Why take risks if we have everything as reliable as possible, from suppliers to delivery by mail? Plus, of course, the most affordable prices!
[url=https://teeple-thanhf9920.tumblr.com/post/189606774680/drug-interaction-... caverject be used with viagra[/url]

[url=https://valentinp508euc.tumblr.com/post/189623305065/how-to-get-viagra-f... viagra dominican republic[/url]
[url=https://zemyatovtquvx1p.tumblr.com/post/189578548376/is-generic-cialis-l... sex games[/url]
[url=https://margaret0ar015m.tumblr.com/post/175755317896/good-topic-for-rese... for levitra[/url]
[url=https://zemyatovtquvx1p.tumblr.com/post/189575041606/viagra-abuse]Constr... sp cialis s[/url]
[url=https://lorinda-minchjm80d.tumblr.com/post/189666398142/viagra-the-risks... dhabi viagra[/url]

[url=http://www.puni.ne.jp/%7Ecocoa/cgi-bin/keiji/g_book.cgi/RK=0/RS=TcYPKS9j... rx and viagra[/url] 3820_60

ordered a probe. They brought a set of three tablets. Without hesitation on where to start, Cialis swallowed, Effect on the face .... or rather, on the end))). Cialis and dick actually work. With no side effects, and there is no discomfort. Action of the tablet 20mg. Is enough, Personally, I am satisfied !!! and the woman with whom I was in complete flight
[url=https://pigilitsova-raisak4f46.tumblr.com/post/189623223423/viagra-healt... lotion[/url]

[url=https://margaret0ar015m.tumblr.com/post/175753380176/scientific-problem-... of use of viagra[/url]
[url=https://hutchings-donette11ie0.tumblr.com/post/175755944590/first-senten... drugs viagra[/url]
[url=https://damianod55ig.tumblr.com/post/189607421491/premature-orgasm-with-... contradictions[/url]
[url=https://mishac46h81f.tumblr.com/post/189528217645/all-natural-viagra-alt... viagra[/url]
[url=https://margaret0ar015m.tumblr.com/post/175753500961/dissertation-writin... jamaica no prescription[/url]

[url=http://share.digitalmax.jp/bbs/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=5236177]Russia status of vi[/url] f3486dc

If you’re upset about your weight and want to lose a little more, get this…

An overweight mother with pre-diabetes has just SHOCKED the medical
community by losing an unheard of 22lbs pounds in just 13 days…

....Without starving herself, she lost a total of 37lbs in the first month!
[url=http://webbyt.co/weightloss]-> CLICK HERE to see her Transformation Pics![/url]

...Even without exercising, she went on to burn off 84lbs (almost a pound a day)
and eliminated any sign of diabetes or any other life-ending diseases.

And the amazing thing is…

All she did was this D.I.Y. “carb-pairing” trick that reconditions your 3 female
weight-loss hormones to drastically accelerate fat-burning while still eating the
foods you love.

Check it out for yourself…

[url=http://webbyt.co/weightloss]“Carb-Pairing” Melts Away 37 Pounds in Just 20 Days (WOMEN ONLY)[/url]

Enjoy!

[img]https://cache3.youla.io/files/images/780_780/5c/15/5c152320bedcc53b14709...
?#New_Year уже близко!??
Ногодняя сказка каждому! - Именное видеопоздравление от Деда Мороза из Великого Устюга. Ваш ребенок побывает в гостях на Вотчине у Главного волшебника страны. Стоимость нашего видеопоздравления - всего 199 рублей.. ??
? Это способно удивить
? Ваш ребёнок будет рад
? Мы добавим оригинальности в Ваш Новый Год
?? ДЕРЗАЙ!??

Источник:

[url=https://myhappy2020.ru/]Новогодняя сказка каждому [/url]

https://youtu.be/TGInTqW2uj4
[url=https://youtu.be/TGInTqW2uj4]Промо видео [/url]
[youtube]TGInTqW2uj4[/youtube]

Почерпнуть фри консультацию адвокада в онлайн системе Вы сумеет, используя презентованный интернет-платформой адвокатской поддержке у всякой ситуации <a href=https://krasnodar.consultinga.net>юридическая консультация в Краснодаре по телефону бесплатно</a> , которая запрашивает мгновенное заключение либо корректный выбор правового способа. Онлайн-ресурс предоставляет платформу, на какой разный клиент сможет поставить проблему специалисту и скорее получить рекомендации ото опытного защитника закона жителя. Юридическая фирма работает защиту совместно с персональным поддержкой посетителя, гарантируя по такому решение вашего ситуации проверенными юристами, подтверждение доверительности, регистрация папки договоренностей плюс приемлемые оплату к все спектору решения задач. Юридическая https://www.consultinga.net/ платформа краткосрочно также хорошо принимает вопросы по личных прериканий, по недвижимости столкновениях, жилищных расхождений, авто ДТП или оформление транспортных автомата, хоз дела, а в добавок компетенция достояние. Вы сумеют у всякий время придти по умелым юристам также получить консультацию правозащитника на веб-связи либо в веб-варианте. Свяжитесь с нами, и вскорее наша компания каждый раз объясним, как следует влиять спустя время в непривычной обстановке.

Our company thinks all threats and also bears maximum responsibility for the results and also premium of job to the consumer Interior renovators NY.

The look of both non commercial and also industrial properties is of great usefulness. For the building to keep its appealing look and functional qualities, it is actually needed to consistently administer Premium makeover new york. The provider delivers a higher specialist degree useful in restoring the look of properties. New York City clients may utilize our services if they need to bounce back:

[u][i]Residential structures of various floors and also year of building;
Office facilities;[/i]
Buying and home entertainment facilities;
Organisation centers;
Clinical amenities and also various other social buildings. location;
[url=https://grandeurhillsgroup.com/]General Contractor [/url];
Industrial structures.[/u]

The complex and also the method for executing work are actually figured out only after the assessment of the object. Our professional leaves for the place. It collects the max details concerning the building: the characteristics of the materials from which the wall structures, load-bearing establishments, the structure, the amount of tales of the property, the condition of the front are erected. Based upon the outcomes of the relevant information accumulated, the ideal technology is actually picked, depending on to which High-end restoration NY are going to subsequently be accomplished.

[b] Our team have been doing work in the market of building and construction and repair work for over 16 years, therefore we offer qualified solutions for the renovation and repair of the fronts of structures for any type of function.[/b]
Employees of the provider have the suitable approvals and also enables to perform repair operate at any kind of height. We are ready to perform repair services of buildings and establishments that reside in any kind of condition at an appropriate time as well as budget friendly prices.

It ensures proficient and specialist gratification of its duty, accomplishes the building and construction of each object complying with the wants of the consumer, following the guideline of an private technique.

[img]https://cache3.youla.io/files/images/780_780/5c/15/5c152320bedcc53b14709...
??#New_Year хватай скорей?
Ногодняя сказка каждому! - Новогоднее приключение - это самое популярное именное видео письмо от Деда Мороза в России с 2010 года! Пять невероятных историй для детей всех возрастов.. ?
? Это Удивительно
? Ваш ребёнок будет приятно порадован
? Ваш Новый год оставит впечатления в сердце ребёнка надолго!
? БАНЗАЙ!?

Источник:

[url=https://myhappy2020.ru/]Новогодняя сказка каждому [/url]

https://youtu.be/TGInTqW2uj4
[url=https://youtu.be/TGInTqW2uj4]Промо видео [/url]
[youtube]TGInTqW2uj4[/youtube]

[img]https://cache3.youla.io/files/images/780_780/5c/15/5c152320bedcc53b14709...
??ew_Year is coming?
Ногодняя сказка каждому! - Видео от Команды Деда Мороза — отличная возможность подарить ребенку настоящую новогоднюю сказку! Данный сервис профессионально занимается Новогодними видео поздравлениями уже не первый год.. ?
? это Оригинально
? Детям то безумно нравится
? Ваш Новый год оставит впечатления в сердце ребёнка!
?? БАНЗАЙ!??

Источник:

[url=https://myhappy2020.ru/]Новогодняя сказка каждому [/url]

https://youtu.be/TGInTqW2uj4
[url=https://youtu.be/TGInTqW2uj4]Промо видео [/url]
[youtube]TGInTqW2uj4[/youtube]

Pages

Add new comment